Dramione: The Pick  Up Lines
by Taurus08
Summary: Draco fell for Hermione, but apparently,the feelings are one - sided. So, with an abundance of pick - up lines, Draco set out on a seemingly impossible task: woo Hermione Granger.


_Draco and Hermione. _

_They didn't get off to a good start._

_But one day, after the war ended and everything had gone back to normal, or as normal as you can get in the Wizarding world, Draco Malfoy decided to woo Hermione Granger._

_And for your – the reader's – information, both Draco and Hermione had returned to Hogwarts to make up for their seventh year's education. Harry and Ron, had meanwhile, been signed to England's National Quiddicth Team, so unfortuanately, they would not play an important part in this story. Draco's friends – more like, minions eg Theo Nott, Crabbe and Goyle – would not be returning as well, and only Draco's closest friend – Blaise Zabini – would be attending Hogwarts with him. _

_And after reading the book "Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches", Draco concluded that the best way to serve his purpose – woo Hermione – was to use pick- up lines, which the book provided an abundance of. Let's take a look at some of his more … successful attempts:_

"_If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss." Draco declared proudly in the Great Hall, his gaze fixed on Hermione. She stuttered in disbelief for a few moments before coming up with good comeback. The whispering that aroused within the Great Hall from the students and the professors did nothing to falter his confident smile, however, Hermione's response did. "I thought you are already a criminal", came the scathing reply, clearly referring to Draco's previous stint as a Death Eater. Draco blushed, Blaise gaped – along with the other students in the Great Hall upon witnessing this exchange – and Hermione smirked. Draco 0, Hermione 1._

"_My love for you burns like a dying phoenix." Draco beamed, clearly glad with himself for having found this pick – up line. After all, there was no way Hermione could counter this way, or so he thought. She wasn't the smartest witch of her age for nothing. "Say anything else and you would be dying, and, as you are not a phoenix, I doubt you would be reborn." Hermione smirked at Draco's dumbfounded expression. Draco 0, Hermione 2._

"_If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together." Draco, having learnt from past experiences, did not proclaim his love for Hermione in the Great Hall this time, but instead ambushed Hermione on her way to her Charms Class. Hermione smiled sweetly, albeit sarcastically, before saying, "So did I, when I looked in the mirror, it was to see me with my wand out pointing at you and you shrieking, a look of agony on your face." She turned around and walked away, but not before hearing Draco shouting at her back, "I am pretty sure it wasn't agony I was feeling but ecstasy, so, whose bedroom was it? Yours or mine?" Hermione made a sound in her throat that sounded like a growl, before whipping out her wand and firing a hex in Draco's direction. Despite being covered in angry – looking boils, Draco could not wipe off the goofy smile on his face, thinking: She smiled at me, she actually smiled at me. And somehow, he managed to conveniently forget the fact that it was a sarcastic smile.__ Draco 0, Hermione 3._

_At the Halloween ball, Draco sauntered onto the stage, cast the Sonorus spell on himself, and his magically loud voice broadcasted, "Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?" His eyes swept through the whole room before finding the pair of caramel – brown eyes he was looking for. Hermione retaliated almost at once, "Did your friends hit you on the head just now, or are you just getting dumber?" When Draco went to sleep later, his dreams were filled with images of brunette beauties in periwinkle blue dresses. Draco 0, Hermione 4_

"_You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements."__ Draco wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Hermione. Hermione pretended to deliberate for a few moments, "Hmm…now that you mentioned it, so do I. The length of my wand. Want to test it out? I just read up on a few hexes." Draco slowly backed away. Draco 0, Hermione 5._

_Fast forward 3 years._

_2 years ago, due to Draco's persistent attempts, Hermione finally gave in and agreed to accompany Draco to Hogsmede. And one date led to another, and soon enough, they became a couple. And now…_

"_Hermione Jean Granger, your last name is beautiful, but I just thought of a better one – Malfoy. So will you marry me?" Draco faced his girlfriend and knelt down on the ground, pulling out a red velvet box as he spoke. _

_Hermione stared unblinkingly, first at Draco, then at the ring glinting in the sunlight, then back at Draco again. _

_Draco began to get nervous and wondered if he should have gone with the more extravagant platinum ring instead, but knew that Hermione preferred simple designs. When Hermione remained silent, he implored, "Hermione, please say something. I know this might not be your dream proposal but I thought this would be more romantic, considering our pasts and all, but anyway, if you want, I …"_

_Draco's rambling was cut off when Hermione leaned down and gently kissed him on the lips. Hermione smiled and giggling at the bemused expression on her soon – to – be – fiancé's, said, "Yes, I will. Now kiss me." Draco gladly obliged._

_When they came up for air, Hermione smirked at her fiancé and told him, "You know, Draco, that pick – up line just now, was the best."_


End file.
